Philly Minds (in the Gutter)

New site. New home. All new leagues. Two 15lb. Balls

Cause I gots sack! Do you? Sign up your team online, and let’s get this party started.

Tell you what, this was an interesting center-stage matchup. Both teams, and their respected companies have history. Both teams/companies have their friends…and their foes. The Cobra Kais, will be historically disliked. The bullies, given center stage in Hollywood, will always have the Laruso curse looming on their backs. The Fisticuffs, also not winning any popularity contents beside the fluffing from fellow co-workers, took their league night by storm. And some controversy.

Fisticuffs coach Anthony Bucci, with his strike dances and “special” moves, often leave his opponents with a bad taste in their mouth (that could be all the Italian in him). He is the bad-boy of backyard wrestling, but you can’t escape the energy him and his teammates bring to a game.

Fellow pizzano coach Giacomo Ciminello leads the Cobra Kais with a little less flair. Or at least he did this evening. Humbled form the start, the “Johnny” finally got dragged out of him midway through the second game, where it was salvagable, but proved to be too late.

For those that don’t understand how such mediocre bowlers like the Fisticuffs could beat bowling supremacy as displayed by the Cobra Kais, allow me to explain the “handicap.” See, when one team has really low averages (meaning they stink), the other team graciously gives them pins. Think of it as a head start. Now usually this makes for close contests, actually it almost always does. For the better team, not only are they playing against an opponent but they have to beat themselves basically. The Cobra Kais, being honorable as they are, gave the fisticuffs 103 pins per game.

Now true enough, and here’s were the major damage came from, the Fisticuffs beat the Kais in the first match without the handicap even being a factor. A straight up win. Technically in game 2 the Kais beat the fisticuffs by 98 pins, but they needed to beat them by 103 (yay handicap). Now in game 3 the Kais would need to beat them by 160 +103 to tie it up.

Now the Fisticuffs were falling flat. After all, when you bowl damn near 6 games at a time, your arm is done, I don’t care how many times a day you work out. The Kais picked it up, completely undaunted, nullified the 103 pins by frame 3, and bowled another 106 , falling a couple spares/strikes shy of tying it all up.

Not to take anything away from the Fisticuffs. They held onto an early straight up big lead. But when someone comes out of the darkness and pipes you in the knee, odds are you aren’t going to skate as well the next night. Congrats to WEBlinc, the Wednesday Night league is supreme over Monday. Oh, here’s your *.

Final thoughts..
It’s been a long, hard-fought season and I tell you what, I couldn’t have imagined it going down any better. Well, maybe a little better. I’ve made many friends this year, in every facet of this industry. We had writers, photographers, project managers, art directors, the list goes on. For as awesome as it was to bowl next to each of you, it’d be an honor to work with you all. Which brings me to say, …is anyone hiring? Cause my team sucks and we’ve lost AGAIN. I’m just kidding. I love my guys. In ways a straight man shouldn’t, and if that damn trophy has to sit around another couple months before I step into the fire with them again, so be it.

To the cheering sections, you guys made it all worth while, wether you were rooting for Weblinc or us, you guys bring an energy to the table that I cannot begin to describe. We couldn’t have come so close without you guys, and definietely wouldn’t have enjoyed the look of fear on Anthony’s face as we were creeping in there. Special props to my straight bowlers, who never gave up. Brendan you were truly clutch, and Tim, you kept us in it. Marc, we just gotta kick into high gear a little earlier man.

Now to sum it alll up. The Citypaper can bowl almost as well as they can write. PUMA makes for good shoes, not good bowlers. Jack Bauer’s weakness? Women and bowling. Nerds make good drinking buddies, while the bartenders surprisingly…don’t. The interactives of this city represented, all placing in the top 5 or so. Fishtown dangerously sneaks up on ya, then buys you a beer.

I have a couple awards still lying around if the person would like to get in touch with me. Jeff Bouchard, lowest average male. Kelly Fernandez, lowest average female. (But you are all tops in my book!), and a Dan Mall from Happy Cog, Best Substitute (you bowled 3 games and had the highest average of them all). See you at the lanes.

Eagerly Anticipating Next Season,
d’ giacomo

I couldn’t possibly do any more justice to the evening than posting this pic…man I love you Fireballs. Check the rest here..

This ones for all the Haters, Heckles, Hounds, and downright hostile fans of the match last night that made me feel like Eli Manning playing @ the Linc….

PHILADELPHIA, PA - The skies over Northern Liberties last night cast a looming darkness in the distance. Rumblings of thunderclaps and their echoing children could be heard in the streets. Mom used to tell me, “Don’t worry honey, that’s just God bowling. See he got another strike. He’s real good.” Well the Almighty must have gotten bored with himself last night, cause he sent some angels down to North Bowl to shake things up and make things interesting.

It started off with the Wednesday Nighters, Citypaper set the tone for the night as the Unstoppable Bioflavanoids rolled over the top seeded Fisticuffs for the first upset of the evening. Steve Garvey handed the Decibowlies thier first loss. The Pariahs sent home the Coddlers, and Ro’s Gigolos got fisted by Fishtown. Takes a special part of town to do that…

Up to the plate stepped Monday Night, again the first upset was handed out on lane 1 as the Cobra Kais took a spanking from the D’nerds. In another surprising turn, the Guttersnipes, last years Champs, lost to Big Pimpin, sending them down a bracket as well. Top Slice, bowling hot suddenly, sent home, or more correctly to the bar for the rest of the night, Baked Not Fried, while WGADNH lost to the ghost team of Finnegan’s.

Entering the Elimination Round, Wednesday’s Nations rolled away. The Unstoppable Bioflavanoids sent the fun loving Steve Garvey All- Stars packing, while the Fisticuffs shunned RedTettemer’s Pariahs, and Fishtown again laying a beat down on the Deci-Bowlies. The American crew saw the higher seeded D’nerds edge out Big Pimpin, while the upset of the evening went to Dorland’s rookie team of Top Slice beating their own bretheren in sister team and last years League Champs, the Guttersnipes. Oron made a surpise move and called in an Absentee Wildcard resurrecting the Fireballs to play for the ghost Finnegan’s team. A true test for Cobra Kai, as the Fireballs came in drunk, they came in hard, and they damn near beat them in the end.

The Semifinal round gave the Unstoppable Bioflavanoids and the D’nerds a rest while they awaited their competitors in their respective Leagues finals. Top Slice, who has been bowling hot and firey all night fell just short to Cobra Kai. While the other #1 seed the Fisticuffs barely beat the Fishtown Fist. Both results setting up major Finals rematches.

The Unstoppable Bioflavanoids, who brought out the heavy hitters that night, were giving up pins every step of the way, while the Fisticuffs only had 2 of the normal starters helping out thier handicap cause. It was well fought the whole way, but the “Bobby Knight” Award winning Captain, Anthony Bucci led the Fisticuffs over the hot, now Stoppable Bioflavanoids led by Captain Dana Pulli. On the lanes right next door, D’nerd Captain and “Over the Top” award winner Todd Weinberger led his team to a very, VERY hotley contested match vs yours truly’s Cobra Kai team. The support for the D’Nerds was intense as the energy was simply too much for the Cobra Kais to set the tone. Tired and worn both teams battled it out until the last man. After spotting them the full 125 pin handicap, the Cobra Kais, snuck out of the hostile stadium with a win, by a mere 19 pins.

Thus sets the stage for next weeks banquet. We will honor the top 4 place finishers next week in a fun free for all, bowling, food fiesta. I have some more awards to hand out for the people that didn’t show up, as well as some HIGH scores and LOW scores medals, and again the top 4 place teams in both leagues will be gettting a little something. And for the crowd, we will pit the #1 American League Cobra Kais v. the #1 National League Fistcuffs against each other in a full series to see who really is the best. Not that I don’t know already (pretty sure they have a “fist” on their uniforms and NOT in their name). So please come out, eat, drink and get ready to be merry. Next week is all fun, and Todd will be buying everyone carbombs.

Monday Night Banquet
Free Food. Free Bowling. Free Beer(I think, but don’t quote me yet, on the beer part that is).
Starting at 7:00 pm, going till - ?

Flickr pics will be up by the end of the day, but you’ll be able to spot them here.
Final Brackets are posted here.

Friends gathered. Beers were shared. Twas all fun and games, till the pressure started pouring on. Fists started flying. Couples were amidst a war of the roses. Cats and dogs, living together. Mass Hysteria! The first 2 rounds of our little Battle Royale went rather smoothly last night. You can check the results here. But just to give you the short short version. PUMA bailed (no kidding!) so Ro moved on to play the Fisticuffs, and almost won. The Unstoppable Bioflavanoids, were in fact just that, plowing through the Pariahs and the Fishtown Fists. Let’s see how they handle the #1 Fists now. Jack Bauer took down 1/4 Scale before losing a heart-breaker to Steve Garvey’s All-Stars. The All-Stars will now be taking on the Deci-Bowlies, who managed to float all the way through because none of their opponents showed up. Speaking of Bailers, That sets the stage for Os Mutantes v The Fishtown Fist, and the Ball Coddlers v Pariahs. Ro’s Gigolos v Jack Bauer, also kick it off in the next round.

Okay so again, TUESDAY, JUNE 5th. The Wednesday night crew will kick things off, while I award some prizes. Come all prepared for photo ops galore. And bring those cheer sections, and fill em full of beer. This message sponspored by Pabst Blue Ribbon. Pabst, Safe times, make great times.

So Monday night went..fairly..smoothly..And we got the first 2 rounds out of the way. 2 teams saw an early exit. Two rather fun teams might I add, and I hope they stop by tournament night for some fun and prizes. But now lets forget about them and move onto tonight. Check out the bracket for this evening here.

Here’s how it’s going to go down. You will bowl the first 2 rounds tonight, which means a total of 2 series, 2 games in each series or 4 games. I’ll be there to make sure everyone gets seeded on the right lanes. Once your team arrives, enter their names into the console and I will manage the handicapping myself. You will have 10 minutes of initial practice then we start. Each series is 2 games. If you split the games, meaning each team wins 1, then the winner will be decided by total pins (including handicap). So for example, if team A wins the first game by 20, then team B better beat them by 21 in the second game in order to win.

We will start practice at 6:15 sharp, if you are not there by 6:30 it’s going to have to be a forfeit. Too many games, too little time. Okay see you all tonight!

Amazing how time slows down when it’s nice outside. It seems like this season been forever, but really it’s not much longer than our last oone, which flew by. Well, tis the power of the cold weather I suppose. Okay, so there were some computer glitches last week and John has YET to get me the final, or fo that matter, ANY scores for the past few week (hope you are reading this Jet). But our season has come to a close. Time for the fun part.

In the All-American League, unbelieveably…the Cobra Kais maintain dominance. That’s not the crazy part though. While last years champs trail them only slightly, 3rd place is Todd and his trusty pack of merry-car-bombed men, the Designerds. Followed closely by Top Slice. That means Dorland Global has 2 teams in the Top 4. Really? The leagues most improved team from last year, not really, but apparently I don’t give them enough props, eCity’s Big Pimpin is in 5th with league party team Finnigan’s right behind them. The rookie teams of Kanter’s WGADNH and Happy Cog’s Victorious secret are right in there at 7th and 8th respectively. The Fairly Fun Fairmount Fireballs are in 9th, considering last year they were last, I’d say thats an improvement. Let’s see how far Barb & the Gang can go this time in the tourney. Baked not Fried and Shaken Bake were see out back behind the alley most of the season with a different kind of bowl going on, but hey at least they did better than league no-shows CTRL Z.

All right the National crew. Some surprises here. The Fisticuffs have led the way, but right behind them fighting eaech other are, Steve Garvey All-stars and Os Mutantes. Original favorites Fishtown Fist are in 4th, and EASILY most improved team from last year, RedTettemer’s Pariahs are in 5th. Guess they realized when they show up they usually win. In 6th are the occasionally stopped Unstoppable Bioflavanoids, with Uarts Ball Coddlers close behind. Doug and his 1/4 Scale Unit (heheheh) are in 9th, with Jack Bauer dropping faster than his ratings in 10th. Puma and Ro are bring up the rear.

Check the el standingos here…

Break out the Gatorade. It’s tournament season. Now I could go all basketball-bracket-system confusing on you on how this is going to work, but I’d rather surprise all of you. Within the next hour I will post up the final standings as they, um, stand. The teams will be seeded accordingly into my failsafe bracket system. Tonight, and Wednesday night, will start their respective braches of the Double-Elimmy. Rounds 6 and 5 will be visciously fought out, sending some teams home packing this very night (Now thats not to say you shouldn’t show up June 5th, as it will be fun, with awards a plenty).

Once given your initial lane assignments you will play a 2 game series vs your opponent. If you split points it comes down to total pinfall, to decide the winner. The winner moves on in the Alpha Dog Bracket, while the Losers drop to the Stray Dog bracket. This is a DOUBLE ELIMINATION so you still have a chance to get to the big show. Just don’t lose again. The next round to be played will still be 2 games. Again if points are split, it comes down to total pinfall.

The final rounds, and awards will take place on Tuesday, June 5th. Those will be a 1 game series, not 2. Please be sure to show up relatively, on-time/early for both this evening and the Tuesday event so we can everyone in the right place.

Feel free to comment any questions here, or email me, since you lamers don’t like to use the web site. jk..yer not all lamers.

North Bowl is hosting another NoTap tournament this Sunday. For those that are like, huh? it’s easy, knock down at least 9 pins and it’s a strike. See how much your game improves when you don’t have to worry about that pesky last pin. Money prizes galore, depending on turnout of course.

North Bowl Lounge & Lanes
Sunday, May 20th
Signup 12:00 PM, game starts at 1 PM

Come one, come all.

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Our obnoxious frrat-boy-esque food bets were reaching epic proportions, and it was only a matter of time before someone actually MADE a split, thus triggering the mangia event. See, on Team Cobra Kai, we entertain ourselves, not by bowling extremely well, cause we do that every night and it starts to get old. No, the Kais like to leave splits and then challenge said teammates with increasing difficult eating stunts. This, of course, was spawned by the ever growing popularity of the sport of professional eating (starting a league for it next fall).

No. No I’m not.

But here’s the scenario. Tim who decides to show up for game 3, is left with a 2-7-10 split. Actually quite makable. But with him in his kercheif and I in my cap, had just settled down with 3 large shots of Turkey. So unrulyness abound, the bets hit the air. Marc was spouting monetary reward, I was wheeling the food. The albatrose steps up to the plate, wheels it down the runway. Flashes of “Oh Crap.” begin to sputter, and sure enough. Timmy walks away with $50 and a dream. Me, I have to eat 5 BigMacs and a CarBomb in 8 minutes. Some of you may be asking. Ah, why? A bets a bet. So this coming Thursday during lunch I’ll take the challenge. It will be filmed and posted up here shotly thereafter.

As for the bowling, Happy Cog’s Victorious Secret managed to do what no one has in the past 10 weeks, beat us. well not beat us, but we gave up 2 points, and we haven’t done that this season. Given up 3, yes. Given up 2…ah no. Fear not I say as the Guttersnipes got it handed to themselves as well by the Big Pimpins, who oddly enough still have the most cheeseball name in the league. A Baked Chockles does in fact trump drunk a Drunk Joe, and Heui beat up a nerd. That pretty much sums it up.

Okay there will be NO Monday night bowling next week. We are being bumped for a charity event and I’m PISSED about it. Frickin charities walk all over me. JK. We return on the 14th, our final night of regulation bowling before we go into the postseason. Monday the 21st we will do our playoff for seeding, and the Tournament will be the following week on an undetermined date. It’s summer. People don’t want to be indoors. So we are cutting the season a tad short. For the tournament I’ll be bringing BOTH nights together for an evening of frollocking, and general unrulyness. PRO BOWL VOTING starts soon as well!

Hello again everyone. Well half-way thorugh the season, I figured I’d force myself to recap things thus far. Yes, normally I do this for everyweek, but hey, you try updating this bloody thing everyday and see how oft you can do it. Actually, yes please..somebody help with my updates..pretty pretty pweese. Okay enough whining onto the glory hole…

Wednesday nighters got some fire in them don’t they? While my standings are a a week or so shy I do know a few tidbits. The Fisticuffs find themselves atop the hill so far, and after firmly beating up the Os Mutantes should be there for a little while to come. Okay enough linking..that’s annoying. The Citypapers own bowler afficianado Dana Pulli is absolutely killin it and has taken over every Women’s high score possible in the Wednesday and heck the Monday scores as well(but that just wouldn’t be fair would it?). Maybe a team should invite her over to sub for a week just so she has a shot as pullin that off, an honorary Cobra Kai maybe? Or would she go all Laruso on us and sub against us? The Pariahs showing VAST improvement since last years league..guess thats what happens when you show up, with a full team, every week. Just kidding Adanda. Maybe you can give doug some points, since his 1/4 Scale is playing whipping post this season. But hey size doesn’t matter Doug, tiz all about fun. The middle of the pack is an absolute dogfight with Steve Garvey, Coddlers, Bowlies, Unstoppable B and Puma all beating having fun with each other. The Fishtownies are letting people know they still rule the roost even in NoLibs while Jack Bauer’s ratings fall flat on Wednesday nights too. Much love to league favorites the Gigolo’s, who bring the most rompuous time every time they step on the lanes.

Now planning has begun on our final weeks, which..in actually I may shorten a tad, since we are currently slated to go into late June. Now I certainly don’t want to be the one responsible for keeping people indoors past Memorial Day, so look for those details soon and hopefully…1 very large Tournament involving Americans v. Nationals.

In the words of Monday nights Josh Beatty, “So like, are they the AAA teams?”

May the shite talkin begin!!! And Flick away right here.